No Apologies Necessary: So Don't Ask For Any!

I've been preoccupied the last few days and really didn't feel like updating my blog; so I didn't. Sue Me!... On second thought: Don't! I would hate to have to find your address, go to your house, and have a nice little chat with a 9 mil resting next to me on the sofa.

Today was a fun day. It was a half day and classes were bare. I spent first and second period completing my DBQ for Fleming. Wouldn't want him to hit me with his big stick. Like FDR that man is. In fourth today Duncan gave us a riddle. Hooray! "A dead man is surrounded by 53 bicycles. He was murdered. What was the cause?" Stumped all 7 of us actually in the class today.
Duncan stonewalled us and refused to give us the answer even after class ended. Infuriating Dictator!

After fourth we had an academy meeting. Since I'm in Arts and Communication we met in the auditorium. Ms. Sikora did her song and dance about the pathways and Journalism. Then we had the rest of the time to play around with the benefits of being in Arts and Communication.

We had Karaoke, Dance Dance Revolution, Graffiti Writing, Recyclable Drumming, Monologues, and Dance lessons. I sang Dani California with Toula and it sounded totally horrible, at least to me. Spadin sang a little High School Musical. She was good, really good. Then I went to watch people play DDR. Kris was grooving, his steps looked natural. Spadin tried it and totally bombed. School ended and it was time to go to lunch. I met up with Vichit and Miya Gray. Vichit's in Science and Tech; they had some stupid battle against Business or Finance, whatever. Leadership and Education played some kids games and colored. Ohhh! I can hardly stand the jealousy!

Lloydisms of the Day:

• The Academy of Arts and Communication is the best Academy in the world. We have fun things like Graffiti and Karaoke.
• When lying, always make sure to come up with something original and bulletproof.
• Never get roped into singing karaoke unless thoroughly drunk or sufficiently liquored up.
• Duncan is the man to see if you like riddles, sarcasm, and higher authority bashing.

Hasta Luego

Forks, Washington: Chock Full Of Bleached Teethy Goodness!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!

If you haven't seen Twilight yet then i warn you, there will be much bashing and praising of the characters, their reactions, the plot, etc. Can't say I didn't warn you!

The first thing I noticed when I saw Twilight was that every single person living in Forks had really white teeth. And by really white, I mean really really white. Hey, teeth bleaching is important in those small towns, you know.

Now Twilight, as a whole, was a pretty awesome movie. There was much more humor than actual romance. It was enjoyable and it was paced really well. It also followed the book a lot more religiously than other movies. Almost every scene was taken from the book and those that weren't would've fit in well. The end clearly yelled, "SEQUEL!" I give it a 9.5/10, just because of a few little inconsistencies. Great read. Awesome movie. See it if you have the time.

Bella. In my opinion, Kristen Stewart was perfectly cast for the role of Bella. She wasn't what I first had in mind but she's a great actress and has a lot of talent. Now Bella herself was a great big contrast. On the one hand she was a take charge kind of girl. She knew what she wanted and went for it. And on the other she was a whiny, needy little girl who just wanted her vampire to stay with her.

For example, there was a scene where Bella and Edward were in Bella's room. They had just kissed for the first time and things were getting real hot and heavy. Edward tried to gain a little control and started to pull away. But Bella wasn't having any of that and practically dragged him to her. She crawled into his lap and they somehow made in onto the bed with Edward on the top. Things seemed to be going great until Edward flew away from the bed and hit the wall. Uh-uh-uh, Bella. Edward doesn't like to be touched there. The 108 year old virgin must be shy!!! ☻

On the other hand, there was a scene at the far end of the movie. Bella had just woken up in the hospital and her mom was there. Edward was "sleeping" in the corner and had been there all night. (Stalker). When Renee left, Edward had come to the bed and said that they couldn't be together and Bella turned into a blubbering bundle of nerves. she was like,"You... you can'... I... ahhh... why would you... just don't... don't say thing like that... Never say that." Slow your role there Princess. You almost died and all you can think about is Edward and him leaving. Straighten out your priorities. White People!

Now Edward was a little weird. Robert Pattinson did a wonderful job with Edward. he was scary, loving, desperate, and glittering; all the things needed to be a Twilight Vampire. What's hilarious about Edward is his answer to all of life's questions: "Just Google It." Now what's not supposed to be there is that constant look of concentration on his face. Miya Gray that he just had a case of extreme constipation. And after great consideration, I had to agree. His constant look of pain made us laugh throughout the film. Especially when he's trying to dance with Bella in his room. When he hoisted her onto his back and scrambles up a tree, he resembles a pink, hairless monkey. Just call him Edward, the Tree Hugger.

Or you can call him, The Mega Ultra Super Stalker! I know he says that he's just, "looking out for her," but him being in the exact place at the exact time is what surprised her the most. And the totally creepy and disturbing way that he watches her when she sleeps. "I like watching you sleep. It's fascinating." Can you say Hannibal Lector on lion blood?

During the fight scene between James and Edward, things got a little carried away and they ended up having hot wall sex. James's legs were the same thing, wrapped around Edward's hips, Edward buried in his neck and there was much growling and posturing going on. That is, until Edward ripped off Demmin's ear. Bite!

One more thing to mention; the sunlight's effect on vampiric skin. When Edward exposed himself to direct sunlight, his skin glittered and winked like diamonds were embedded into his skin. Kind of weird sounding but the effect was OK. Vichit joked that people might think of killing vamps for their skins and "taking out' the diamonds.

Emmet and Rosalie looked great even though nobody happened to know why she was there.

Alice looked awesome. Her squeaky, 7-year-old-girly voice was a disappointment though. She entered decibels of notes which haven't been spoken since the dawn of time. And she found them.

Jasper's hair was awesome, he was a great choice. However, his bugged out, goggley eyes were a bit disconcerting. And his expressionless face gave nothing away. Like one of those Greek Marble Statues or the guards in front of the Buckingham Palace.

Charlie was a great success. Billy Burke is a very talented and amazing actor. Charlie's role was funny and light-hearted. His best line is, "I put another pepper spray in your bag."

The most out of this world part of the story was when Mike Newton, wearing an alien mask, was thrusting himself against a bush.

The creepiest part was when Jacob delivered a message from his father, "We'll be watching you," Old, cripple Indians do make the best voyeurs.

During the movie there was an overabundance of Twizzler promotions. Every time you turned around, someone was either chewing on one or throwing them around. There was also one random black highschooler, one black vampire, and one black dinner waitress. Kind of a scary picture don't you think? A sea of white with three black dots inter spaced.

Now during the movie Miya Gray, Vichit, and I were doing a running commentary on the movie. During the previews we yelled things like, "Burn the Witch", "Drarry", and "Die Harry Potter Die". Now during the actual movie we made snide comments like, "Bella wants to take Edward to the broom closet." Or "Charlie and Bella sure do look close. Incest." Miya Gray had finished her popcorn before the movie even started and commenced crushing mine with her fists full.

We got so loud that a mother and her small son had to get up and move to the back in order to hear the movie better. We had a good chuckle about that and the I saw some idiot on their cellphone during the movie. What The Fuck! Don't text while you're in a theatre watching a big screen. I was like, "What the hell are you doing on your phone. Watch the damn movie."

The movie ended and we stayed in the theatre until the screen had gone light again. We talked to some GHS kids while the manager was giving us the stink eye. I yelled back to him as we walked out,"We'll stay in the movie as long as we want. Don't rush us."

I got a ride with Vichit and he regaled me with stories of hilarity and awkwardness that had me laughing my ass off.

Lloydisms of the Day:

• Yelling lewd and inappropriate statements in a crowded movie theatre in front of kids and parents is as enjoyable as watching someone fall. You just wanna do it again and again.
• Never sit next to Miya Gray in a movie theatre with popcorn; She'll eat it.
• Voyeurism and Stalking are encouraged in Twilight so go nuts and spy on your neighbors to your heart's content.
• Absolutely everything can be made into a sexual innuendo!☺I should know!

Adios

Daniel Radcliffe Probably Has A Small Junk Anyways!

So you all may be wondering about my title for today. Well tough! Just wait until you get farther down into it.

In First period Staymates was playing with the Promethean Board in class. She was playing with a program made by Mr. Cook. The people and animals on the screen said different things, depending on which one you clicked on. The pig was kind of funny, but the others were just stupid. And there she was, shrieking like a banshee in the throes of death. she tried to show us a movie but I wasn't paying attention.

As always, Joe pulled a cock out of his ass and managed to find a way to bring up his favorite subject in class today. I mean, come on Joe, we're not even on that unit yet. White People!

Third period was a riot, as always. Fleming waged Early Modern African war against Jeff in class today. Fleming won and we gave him much ale and wenches. Nah, I'm just kidding. We took some notes and then left, class as normal. KC got upset though when Jeff brushed her off. It was kind of funny.

After Fourth I stayed after to make up a quiz. Now normally I'd go to lunch then come back when I'd finished, but Duncan convinced me that it would be easier to just wait after and I'd finish and go back to lunch sooner. Then the asshole take about 15 minutes to go to the math office, come back, leave the class, come back, then finally print out my quiz and bring it back to me. I finished it as fast as I could and split.

When I met up with Miya Gray and Elvira in the library, it was kind of silent until we started talking about Harry Potter. 'Vira was crushing on Dan and I was like, "Daniel Radcliffe is a whore." Then Miya Gray said, "He probably has a tiny junk anyway." We had a nice, long laugh and that's how my title was spawned.

During Fifth we were revising our essays for the Crucible. Vichit and I traded papers while KC was scratching herself and trying to hold up her saggy ass. Now, let me say this. The essay I wrote was just a quick and dirty filler piece so I could get credit. I wrote it because i had to and left out a lot. I told Vichit this and what does he do? He scribbles all over it, looking up to make comments every time he took a breath. I was just like, "Write the shit down and stop telling me." When I got it back, it looked like it had been chewed up and spit out by a rabies infected bear.

Pepper mentioned to us about signing up for AP Pimping. I was like whatever and went to the English office door to scratch my name. The door opened a bit and I quickly shut it. After few second I finished and looked up. And what did I see? Spadin was looking down at me with her hell-fire eyes and forked tongue. I ran away before she could flame-broil me and went to go walk Miya Gray to her Sixth period.

When we were walking by the H-Hall entrance some dumbass was blowing on a whistle. Fucking Idiot! And this other guy was wearing one of the school clocks on his chest. He was totally aware of what time it was. When Miya Gray and I passed Breslyn's class the hall was sufficiently clear enough for us to skip and we did. People stared as we skipped by but I didn't care. It was hilarious and I was laughing all the way back to C-10.

I went to the water fountain and my friend Rainar was waiting to take a drink .Sone idiot was set up in front of the thing, trying to smooth his hair down or some other dumb thing. So I said, "Hey, you." The guy moved and he was able to get some water. One of the Evans's? was leaning right there and he was like, "he has a name, it's not hey." Like I give a shit. He was in the way and i had to get to class.

Sixth period was especially fun today and there are a few reasons why. KTk was finally back in class and it was an instant explosion. She and Pattywack got into a fight and decided to sit on opposite sides of the room. Awwwwwwwww. The famed married couple had a little spat.

After doing the warm-up we were trying to define vocab. KTk asked what a brothel was; so I was like, "It's a whorehouse." She was shocked while Christoph and Torri were splitting at the seams. Christph said,"Lloyd said whorehouse." In that elementary, teasing/mocking tone of voice that few people can pull off anymore.

A little while later, the class had split up into three little city-states. Me, Torri, KTk, and Christoph were center right. La Demonia y Marwha were center stage. Diddy and Pattywack were up stage left. We were reading the second part of the hand out and Pattywack said,"I couldn't hear what you said," to Rivas. I immediately came back with, "I wonder why." In my snide, sarcastic voice. I started laughing and Rivas was all, "You're so...mean Lloyd. Do you have any friends?" I was still cracking and couldn't choke out an answer. Class ended shortly after.

Rest of the day was uneventful and boring. I shelved some books and finished some homework. You know, the usual.

Lloydisms of the Day:

• Highschoolers are quick to judge others when they see similarities between their actions.
• Skipping down the hallway after Fifth period in lower C is so much fun. everyone must do it once before they leave GHS.
• Never challenge Fleming to a battle of idiots; He Will Always Win!
• Harry's scar in the movies moves around on his face every time there's a new one. Just call it the Incredible Jumping Lightning Bolt!

Ciao

Thomas Jefferson's Illegitimate Slave Children!

My friend Vichit was in the library this morning and I told him about my new blog. He's Cambodian so, of course, he's a very stiff and unbendable person. When I told him he should start his own blog he criticized my blog title. Masturbation isn't the leading cause of he said. Bah! what does he know besides math and science? Nothing at all.

So Miya Gray and I went skipping down lower C-Hall right before Sixth period today. It was kinda fun, so we're gonna do it again. On the way we talked about her reading my blog. She though it was really weird, but me. I walked her to the outside staircase and went off to class.

Today, Fleming had a sub; some idiot Asian lady who insisted on following the agenda in the wrong order. it was clear as fucking day on the board but apparently she couldn't read it. And when we were finished with the notes she was trying to make us do the reading during class. Never let Asians become subs, their weird and really anal.

During Duncan's class I spent the whole time biting my tongue. He does this thing where he tells us something and then says, "I lied," or "I wasn't completely honest." Jesus, just tell the truth motherfucker. Stop lying every time you open your damn mouth.

I came home and wanted to start on my essay for Pepper's class. But my dad was playing Spider Solitaire on the computer for the hundredth time. I was lying on the couch and fell asleep. When I woke up I got a Charlie Horse and was in blinding pain for about three minutes.

Side Note: Who the hell decided to name the excruciating muscle spasms "Charlie Horse"? What kind of stupid name is that? I mean, what does a Charlie or a horse have to do with that? In any sense of the word?

In Spanish, Chritoph and Tori were playing around again. Surprise, Surprise! He was moving her chair around an they were both laughing their asses off. White people. Geeez! We were learning about slavery in the Americas. Thomas Jefferson apparently had a little too much fun with his slaves and there are still hundreds of his descendants around here today. Even though he was married and was against slavery. Who Knew? I Did!

Lloydisms of the Day:

• Whenever a girl wants to skip down the hall with you, Do It!
• White People are walking bundles of contradictions and Liquid X.
• Thomas Jefferson was whore who spent too much time in the slave pens and not enough time representing his state.
• Charlie Horses are a bitch to have and a it's a dumb name overall.

Adieu All!

Was Columbus a Monster or Just Ahead of His Time?

I decided to start a blog today. Whoopee! Hooray for Me!!

You know... who doesn't love mindless ranting about things that people as a whole really don't care about. It just seems monumentally stupid to just sit in front of the computer and just type about your day. And yet, I can't stop myself. It's like an addiction.

So here it goes. Today was really uneventful as a whole. In first period we were in the Library looking up info about drugs for a pamphlet. I chose GHB, a date rape drug, naturally. Joe and Scott were talking about Viagra which obviously led to their favorite topic: penises. They were getting so annoying that I suggested they pop a few Viagra pills and lock themselves in a room together. Scott wasn't totally averse to the idea. Then they both spent their computer time writing on their own blogs. Shock! Awe! Class ended and we left.

In second period we spent the first big chunk of class filling out these Cigarette/Drug questionnaires. Surprisingly, I've never smoked a cigarette or even taken a quick puff. So that's good to know. On the other hand, I have consumed an alcoholic substance or four. Pat on the back for me. we spent the rest of class taking notes or whatever. After the bell I did ask my friend Vanessa if she'd ever smoked and surprising enough she has. We parted ways and I hurried off to AP World.

A Side Note: Hallway Traffic. I swear that people in the hallways slow down in front of me just to make me mad. It's like, hurry the fuck up. I have somewhere I really don't want to be. Fucking turtles waddling to and fro. Just get where you're going without fucking swerving into my path as I try to swing by. Pushing and shoving does little to ease the crush of bodies, especially C-Hall intersection. Pick up the damn pace.

Third period Fleming's class we watched a video about Columbus. Basically, Columbus was the Hitler of his age. Slaughtering natives by the thousands and cutting off their arms and noses. And then we had a discussion about whether he was a monster or not. Hey, the guy was just trying to save his ass and feed his family. Can't say I wouldn't do the same thing in his situation. Kacy got all crazy and was practically crying her eyes out.

Fourth period was actually cool. Less work and I could actually recall what Duncan said. He wasn't going at his usual lightning fast speeds. He told us to wait around after class for a cookie but I wasn't having that. I left and went to eat my lunch. I went back for quiz help and he looked tired and worn out, like he hadn't slept. Newsflash Duncan: Change schools or teach a different class.

Fifth period was cool. Pepper is a pretty awesome teacher. Her humor is brittle but effective when you can actually understand it. Few people are aw well-read as me i suppose since I'm the one laughing most of the kind. we read Macbeth again and talked about the project i haven't even thought about until today and I have to write an essay for Thursday. I just finished the book a few hours ago.

Sixth period was a barrel of laughs, as always. We were in the tiny E-Hall lab with another class looking up articles about Spain. I chose the plane crash that killed 150 people of course. Christoph and Tori were laughing their asses off for no apparent reason. One of their weird inside jokes. Who can understand white people half the time. The bell rang and we left.

Now seventh was awesome. I'm an aide in the Library and I shelve a few books, about 6-15 one a bad day. It took me about six minutes and then I've got the rest of the period to fool around on the computer or do homework. I was trying to use the bathroom in front of the Library and there was a fucking mob of guys already in there. You could hear them talking from three feet away from the fucking door. So I went to C-Hall. and who's in there but the fat building service guy. You know who I'm talking about. It took him about five minutes of standing there before he decided it was time to actually do his job and move on. I was doing homework until the final bell.

Lloydisms of the Day:

• Highschoolers spend way too much time acting like turtles. Speed your asses up and get to class.
• Janitors spend most of their time standing around, trying to look busy but never really pull it off.
• Laughing while others are makes you seem cooler even if you have no idea what the joke is.
• White people are excellent liars. They have freaky ass blogs and secrets like you wouldn't believe.

Goodnight and Good-Bye!